if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize