come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
