my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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