So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
