I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
