Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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