Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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