I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Congratulations! We have a period
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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