VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
