I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
