Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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