Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
