I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
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