I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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