Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
