Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
