I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
