you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
