Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
