I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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