You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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