People in love make me want to vomit
Quick, to the slutcave!
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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