apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
