its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
