I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
