it's too hot outside to masturbate.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
