He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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