so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
