Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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