Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
