I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
