that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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