I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
