pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
