I cockslap morals
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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