exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize