and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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