My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
