The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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