"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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