His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize