no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
