i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We left an ass print on the piano.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
