we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Come on in and take your pants off
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