omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
