the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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