last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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