real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
