I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
