I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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