Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
