3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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