every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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