So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
