and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
