I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
