i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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