Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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