Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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