Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
