...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Mom said you looked used
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
