8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
